Although I believe you can never resolve the past by rummaging through it, I do believe that if you have the courage to remember and the strength to be objective you can learn from your own past. The great lesson I've learned is there are times to be silent and even perhaps passive and times when you must emphatically say no.
When I was 12, on December 24th, 1956 my father came to wake me and get me started on mopping the halls of our 5 story apartment building. It was one of my jobs. We were working as superintendents to build enough money so we could own our own home.
I couldn't get out of bed. Every time I moved I felt a sharp pain in my side. I told my Dad I was sick. He figured I shirking my duty and pushed me to get to work. I did. The tenants saw I was in pain and went and told my parents who took me to the MD. I had appendicitis, and the MD. said they got to it just before a rupture. The recovery was a long time spent in bed until April because the incision wouldn't heal. It then became an issue that I might be a Hemophiliac.
Roles abruptly changed. My father became a supplicant, concerned about my needs. Every night when he came home he came first to see me. He brought me dinner and asked how I was and what I would like for dessert. I would ask for an ice cream sundae or a brownie from Moskowitz's bakery and I got it. I was 13 and went from a rail skinny kid to extra large.
To this day as the New Year approaches, I plan again to go on a diet.
Food is a connection to the most important person in my life and the food is not fruit and vegetables. I want to and most probably have to forgive my father but at the same time, I want to hold on to that change in our roles: me on top, getting what I want without putting in the work.
Way past time for the No. Want to get to work and mop up, get clean.
So, a resolution to get fit, for the New Year.
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